No joke, these guys are despicable.
The Neogi are the most vile beings in the galaxy. Their very presence is one of hunger, perversion, and cruelty. They are slavers, and kidnappers, and will not be reasoned with. If they know common, it is only because they forced a poor creature who speaks it to teach them through their sick abuse.
They infest the Spellljammer setting and, unlike the Giff, are without a code of ethics. They have enslaved, destroyed, and assaulted more races of creature than most adventurers have even heard of. But all those in the ‘verse have heard of the Neogi, and they are infamous for their crimes.
A Neogi looks like a fat, furry spider the size of a small dog. It has a long eels neck ending in a flat, angled face with a mouth full of sharp needle-teeth. Their six back legs are sharp and flexible, like cartilage. The things arms are bent and twisted, easily manipulated at any angle, using an even three clawed grasper.
The fur of the Neogi is usually filled with sharply contrasting colors. Their fur, which is more like the needles of a porcupine, is dyed to denote rankings within the slaver race.
A Neogi smells almost as bad as it looks: like the dense musk of a wet dog, mixed with the slightly metallic tinge of blood. It’s unnerving, and nauseating.
Were you unlucky enough to feel the grizzled and gross body of a Neogi, you would never forget it. Their spiny fur is thick, course, and hard, Those spines that look like hair will shred your hands if you touch without care.
Neogi bark at one another with angry hissing, and light croaking tongues. Their language is horrifying, intimidating, and no matter what they are saying, sounds like a threat. The clicking of their legs on metal and wood is unnerving, the opposite of a ticking clock.
Don’t taste a Neogi. Ever. They taste like what they eat: any and all meat.
There really is no one place to go to find a Neogi. They are found in the darkest corners of the Prime Material Plane, Feywild, Shadowfell, and the Astral. They left behind their first world in order to eat the worlds of others. Their ships travel in search of new things to eat and enslave, while they make small bases and camps on asteroids or uninhabited planets to trade.
In a fight with a Neogi, you will not just be facing the creature alone. You will face them, and their slaves as well. Having no honor, the Neogi will use them as cover, it will use them as fodder, and it will sneak up from behind to bite and slash you. This bite is terrifying, pumping an incredible amount of poison right into the bodies of victims, followed up with claws that would slip under the skin and rend your flesh easily.
A Neogi usually gives their fighting slaves well made equipment, such as armor and weapons. The Neogi itself might use spell scrolls, magic items, and other more rare and powerful implements. Why give the expendable forces all the good stuff?
Another factor to consider is that Neogi don’t just enslave people. In fact, Neogi have a soft spot for the Umber Hulk, a creature with incredible power and presence. If a Neogi has even one of these with it, you’re looking at a rough fight.
Talking things out with a Neogi is like talking things out with a Nazi. They are incredibly single minded, and will twist your words and anger you until you don’t realize you’re about to be attacked.
They make for devious traders, and those that trade with Neogi freely are only those who are immensely powerful, or incredibly desperate. The powerful survive, while the desperate, do not.
Many warriors who slay Neogi will keep their dyed needle-fur in order to make trophies or intimidating decoration. The slaves that survive can also be freed, and will be very thankful, sometimes so thankful that they join your crew, or serve until you can get them back home. The treasures and wealth the Neogi had acquired through their pillaging would also be up for grabs, though it’s usually necessary to clean it. Neogi get very grubby with their gold, and they usually coat their hoards in poison and other toxins to cause all sorts of problems for those who killed them.
Neogi ships are run on the devastating Lifejammer helms, which feed off the lifeforce of those put into them. Like an electric chair that takes multiple days to finally kill a person, the Lifejammer will drain their Hit Points so drastically that the victim must make a death saving throw each day. These helms are valuable, however, and can be taken off the ships, and sold to the right black market buyer. That is, if you can stomach the idea.
The Neogi are simply the worst. They invade, take what they want, and leave. They are glutton, pride, and avarice all wrapped up in a body designed after two of the most upsetting animal species of our time. Eating, terrorizing, and stealing from all kinds of people in the Prime Material Plane and beyond.
If they just killed you, then you’d be lucky.
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Image Sources: Wizards of the Coast
Roll a D% to see what critical hit you got against the Neogi!
(Substitute this table for the normal double damage dice)
1-10: A stab in the stomach! (+5 damage for your hit)
11-20: You remove its leg! (-10 movement)
21-30: Knocking out a few teeth. (-1 die of damage on Bite Attacks)
31-40: Slammed in the head. (One slave is released from control.)
41-65: Gauge out it’s eyes. (The Neogi is blinded)
66-80: Ripped out it’s spikes. (-2 AC)
81-95: Arm removal! (No claw attacks)
96-100: Weak Point! (4x Damage Dice)