In all of D&D, there’s just nothing quite like a Flumph.
How can something so gross, so ugly, and so weird…be adorable? Yeah, that’s right. Adorable. The Flumph is a sweet creature, with a good heart, and absolutely no spine. Mentally or physically.
The Flumph was designed by Ian McDowall and Douglas Naismith, and first appeared in the Fiend Folio. It was a silly monster and included in all sorts of goofy encounters that found themselves in adventures to break up the pain-filled dungeon with some laughs.
The Flumph finds purpose in absorbing the latent psychic energy of an evil powerful creature, like an Aboleth or a Mind Flayer. It then relays all the evil thoughts it hears to adventurers so they may better defeat said creature. It also feels very unclean with the thoughts of evil inside its mind, and feels that gossiping and discussing the plans will clean it of wrongdoing. This is a weird reason to be good, but still works out for the Flumph all the same.
The sight of a Flumph is, to be frank, kinda gross. Equal parts Jellyfish and Stoner Grandma, they have uncomfortable placements of limbs and mouths, with all sorts of barbed tentacles that flap around to emphasize matters of great importance. Their skin is slighty see-through, but with a hint of opacity that brings about the true jellyfish “style”.
The Flumph uses its large, hollow body to propel itself forward with air. This comes out with a very quick burst of air, and sounds an awful lot like somebody… well… farting. So the Flumph farts around the galaxy, with a high-pitched and whiny voice. Its limbs even make an odd sound when they wiggle, like when you shake a large sheet of plastic or metal.
The skin of a Flumph is soft and wet. It feels like slime you would make with glue and borax. Not dense enough to stop you right away, but not liquid enough that you can just rip it apart. This lightweight flesh is how the Flumph can float so quickly, powered only by air.
The heavy scent of grape follows Flumphs everywhere they go. It’s not naturally produced, and is overpowering among all other smells. Nobody, not even the Flumphs, knows where it comes from.
A Flumph tastes like nothing. It’s the most boring flavor. But in an act of karma, if you eat a Flumph, all other Flumph you come across will know that you ate their kind. This is a natural cosmic defense system that these Lawful Good creatures were blessed with a long time ago.
Wherever you are, that’s where the Flumph will go. Like the postal service of the D&D Cosmology, the Flumph can pass through all manners of portals and planes to get to the person they wish to see and talk to. You would assume this Lawful Good creature would inhabit the seven heavens, but in reality, they were kicked out long ago. There’s no confirmation of exactly why, but most can assume it’s because they were too silly.
None the less, there is one place you can always find a Flumph.
Any carnival near an extra planar portal, since they love to eat Cotton Candy and can hide out in the plush prizes.
When dealing with a Flumph, you won’t usually have to fight it. A fight only breaks out if the Flumph is being mind controlled by something, or is so desperate and afraid that it would rather attack you and die than let you do whatever it is it doesn’t want you to do.
Flumphs will arrive to share news, information, or thoughts that they have gathered from darker foes. This is to give you an advantage if you attempt to face or attack these evil forces. So discussions with Flumphs will be hurried, frank, and for the people the Flumph is talking to, very very annoying.
Once you’ve dealt with a Flumph, you will either have a corpse or an ally (most adventurers find that there is no middle-ground here). If you have a corpse, it cannot be used for anything besides candy making. Its acids are quite sour when added to batches of flavored sugar. Sigil has more than a few candy shops that make their sours out of the tentacles of a Flumph.
As for an ally, the Flumph is actually quite useful, should you get past its adorable-to-some, and obnoxious-to-others attitude and voice. They could be a valuable asset, sharing all sorts of plans and tactics used by the darkest creatures in the galaxy.
While the Flumph can be a two sided coin, it’s always a brightly shining one. It’s absolutely terrible at defending itself, but is intelligent, well-meaning, and very fun to play or DM.
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Image Sources: Wizards of the Coast
Roll a D20 to see what odd trait or quirk this particular Flumph has!
1: Very handsy while talking
2: A lisp
4: Yells everything they say
5: Cries all the time
6: Mood Swings
7: Addicted to drinking sugar water
8: Sprays ink when nervous
9: Always hungry
10: Weirdly attracted to the creatures they steal evil plans from
12: Likes to be paid in seashells
13: Eats small animals
14: Turns invisible when scared
15: Very quiet
16: loves cats
17: Loves dogs
18: Afraid of Humans
20: Friends with a Mindwitness buddy.